Old, Outdated, Spice

Liam O'Connell, Staff writer
March 3, 2016

OK, so you’re a high school student, and you overslept (typical). You are racing out of the door in order to keep your attendance occurrences down. If it was 1991, people would tell you that you smelled like teen spirit, but nowadays we call that odor B.O., and it is not pleasant.

In the wonderful world of 2016, we have body spray. Body spray is the good-smelling mist all your boys use. It makes them go from smelling like a locker room to just out of the shower.

Some people may challenge the heavenliness of body spray and argue that deodorant is a better alternative. But will deodorant make your kid smell good after their workout? No. Will body spray? Yes.

“

It’s an injustice to judge an entire hygiene product by how some individuals use the product.

— Liam O'Connell

You know why there are yellow stains on your undershirt? Because of aluminum chlorohydrate, an ingredient in all big name deodorants. Aluminum chlorohydrate is also linked to cancer. There are six other carcinogens in regular deodorants.

None of that is in body spray. People apply deodorant directly to their skin, which can cause skin irritation, but body spray can be used more indirectly. As far as health goes, you’re better off using body spray for your personal hygiene needs.

Principal Allen Leonard said he preferred deodorant over body spray because people abuse body spray and often end up smelling like a person who sweats chemicals.

Before I continue, let me just say that Leonard is awesome. Little known fact, Leonard said that in college he had a goatee that he could hold in both of his hands and hair longer than his shoulders. He sat front row at the most awesome concert in the world with Mike Watt, Hovercraft, Eddie Vedder and the Foo Fighters.

Sound like a pretty rad guy, right? I agree. But that doesn’t mean we can’t disagree on this issue. Yes, there are some who abuse body spray, but don’t hate the spray, hate the “bro.”

It’s an injustice to judge an entire hygiene product by how some individuals use the product. Don’t blame a product for the user’s errors.

Deodorant does smell good. But the “powder fresh” scent only lasts about two minutes, and it doesn’t kick in until three hours after you apply it.

When you put on deodorant, you expect to smell good for longer than the walk from your place to your car. When you spray on body spray, you smell immediate results that satisfy the nostrils all day.

Other than the fact that some specimens abuse God’s tears, there is no argument to made against the liquid of humanity. Even ignoring the health aspects of the issue, you’re still left with body spray because it smells good when used properly, and it smells good immediately, not three hours later.