Food opinions can distract us from the political turmoil of society

So let’s get distracted


Photo via Canva (CC0) under Creative Commons license

Food is a hot topic. And if there’s anything that can get people riled up, it’s a good debate. Put them together, and the result is an age-old debate about food that persists through our tense, modern atmosphere.

Grace Maneein, Staff Writer

As hostility grows between opposing sides of hot-topic debates, such as pro-life and pro-choice, pro-immigration and anti-immigration, weed legalization and drug criminalization, the arguments that concern how we eat our food have been pushed aside. In light of everything, here are four arguments that used to tear apart friendships before the rise of widespread political divisiveness.

Should sandwiches be cut diagonally or in half?

On one hand, it’s easier to hold and wrap a rectangle than it is a triangle, but on the other hand, triangles look so much more aesthetically pleasing, especially when left on a plate. While both arguments have valid points, ultimately, the decision rests with your stomach. As in, sandwiches are meant to be eaten.

However, my verdict reigns that sandwiches should be cut in half. First, if you are in the position to be cutting your own sandwich it probably looks less than perfect and is in no position to be photographed. Next, no matter how aesthetic food looks, it’ll taste and smell more or less the same.

Should pineapple be served on pizza?

On one hand, some people have wonderfully cultured taste buds and a dose of adventure. On the other hand, people are too cowardly to even try fruit on pizza. There’s no debate in this. Pineapples should be served on pizza. Not always, but the option should exist.

This is not to say that pineapples should always be served on pizza. Just like pepperoni pizza and vegetable pizza exists without upsetting any pizza lovers, Hawaiian pizza should be able to live on pizza menus in peace.

For the simple reason of maximizing enjoyment, macaroni and cheese ought to be eaten with a fork.

— Staff Writer Grace Maneein

Being uncomfortable at the idea of fruit on pizza does not make it a flavor that should be banished. Instead, it makes every anti-pineapple-on-pizza-eater sound like a ridiculous idiot who doesn’t understand the concept of personal preference.

Should mac and cheese be eaten with a spoon or fork?

On one hand, spooning noodles is a much more efficient way to get the noodles from bowl to utensil to taste buds. On the other hand, forking individual macaroni noodles results in a feeling that cannot be described with anything less than absolute euphoria.

It comes down to this: the reason people eat mac and cheese. Macaroni and cheese is a comfort food, and people eat comfort food not to nourish themselves, but to gain comfort and enjoyment when there is none to be had. For the simple reason of maximizing enjoyment, macaroni and cheese ought to be eaten with a fork. And no, sporks do not count.

Should pizza crust be consumed?

On one hand, it’s unflavored bread, otherwise known as carbohydrates and calories. On the other hand, it’s nutritious, clean, and edible, which is more than most impoverished children can even dare dream of. More so here than in any other debate discussed thus far, there’s no question in this.

Don’t throw away the crust. Be grateful for what have on your plate. There are many people who don’t have the privilege of throwing food into the dump, and a good portion of us first-world folk often forget that.

In a nutshell, sandwiches should be cut into rectangles, pineapples should be served on pizza, macaroni and cheese should always be eaten with a fork, pizza crusts should be consumed, and food debates will always remain relevant. In the face of all this serious political controversy, fun food debates will do well to release tension.